Every year on my birthday, I sit down to write a letter to someone who has come into my life and changed it for the better. I’ve written to teachers, friends, and mentors…

…But, even though I am not able to send a letter this year, I want to post this blog as a tribute to someone, my mother.

If I was to sit down and write to Kathy Gironimi, I would tell her that I know God put a special calling in her life to raise me. I have not always made it easy, or fun. We’ve had fights, we’ve had tears, and she has dealt with my sarcasm and battle of the will-through it all she never stopped believing in me.

When I was graduating high school, in all of my 18 year old wisdom, I was convinced that I was going to move to Boston, work at Hooters, and put myself through Berklee College of Music to become a studio guitarist. (I realize, I had lofty dreams…) When I told my mother my plan, she didn’t yell, she didn’t tell me how stupid it was (even though it was really stupid), she picked up a pad of paper, threw it down in front of me and said, “You write down how you can make this financially work, prove it to me on paper, and you can go.”

Wisdom.

Needless to say, when I couldn’t make it work, Mom responded with, “How about Bible College for a year?”

One story, from my childhood, that captures my mother’s character comes to my mind as I write this.

A family at our church was struggling for groceries and couldn’t afford much. They had kids that were my age at the time and we knew them pretty well. My sisters and I were watching television while my mom was in the kitchen, when she called us in to see her;

“Go into the cupboard and pick out all of your favorite food items, the things you’d like to eat the most and then we’re going to bag them up and bring them to that family.”

So, we tore through the pantry, gathering our favorite food items and when they were all bagged up, my mom drove to the house, put them on the doorstep, rang the bell, and ran back to the car.

Humble Generosity.

My mother never does anything for show….

My mother loves patiently more than anyone other person I know…

My mother gives without expecting back…

Hey Ma-

I sit here in Ireland, at 25 years old, and I’m chasing after Jesus hard with big dreams in my heart from the Lord- and I’m doing it, partly, and largely, because of the role you have played in my life. Thank you for praying, thank you for not letting me settle, thank you for teaching me what it means to love people and serve them without doing it for outward credit, thank you for holding me when I had nightmares, for putting up with my attitude and loving enough to fight through all those rebellious years with me.

I love you mom.

You have changed my life Kathy Gironimi… and you continue to do so. I can’t wait to hug you.

Your favorite daughter!

Kathryn

I walked outside to have alone time with the Lord. I had a lot of things personally on my heart and I wanted to spend time praying and talking to God in the midst of the beautiful Ugandan valleys.

As I was praying, I heard “HEY MZUNGU!”

I looked to see four dirty children vying for my attention.

“Please God, make them go away…”

I wanted them to leave, I was dealing with my own issues and didn’t want to invest in anyone else…

Then I heard… “Let the little children come to me…”

I argued with God for a moment, in my heart I wanted to ignore them- I spent so much time with kids, I just wanted a moment for my own.

But God answered… Your time is my time, love and serve.

So I surrendered and it stopped being about “I”.

We danced, sang, played games, sat and talked about Jesus, and I gave them a photo shoot which left them smiling and giggling.

It was “my” off time…

It was “my” alone time with God…

It was “my” personal reflection time…

But God said, “No… it’s MINE”

And the ironic thing about it is, that after time spent with these kids, my heart was restored- my own issues seemed to pail in comparison to the joy of being apart of the kingdom of God.

Love and serve, and see how God rewards your heart… I’m finding He is faithful over and over again.

Justice. Poverty. Widows. Orphans. Possessions. Treasure.

Meet Charlotte

She has an 11 month old baby.

Her husband has to work 7 hours away because there isn’t enough work here for him.

She sees him every 6 months.

He makes 7000 Uganda shillings a month, which is roughly a little more than $3.00 U.S.

The numbers just don’t add up to me.

Meet Leonard

I watched Leonard eat trash.

And I don’t mean food trash, but I watched Leonard eat a piece of garbage- I watched him eat cardboard.

Meet Kathryn

I have no clue how to fix the issues of poverty and justice. My heart gets overwhelmed when I think of how much I’ve seen this year that is out of my control.

I shared a can of Pringles with nine hungry, poverty stricken children… and it did nothing to fix any issue…but it was a way to love and serve in the moment.

This blog has no answers.

I know that the problems of the world are too large for me to fix- fortunately I serve a God who never expected me to fix anything in the first place… but He does expect me to walk in the moments He has given me to love and serve.

I want to run from some of the people I encounter, and retreat into a world where I don’t have to face that people are being treated unjustly, unable to work for enough money to give them the bare necessities of life. I want to run from children who are eating trash…

More than that though….

I want to run towards justice.

This means more than breaking out my wallet, because even though money and generosity in that is important- justice doesn’t have a monetary value…

Justice is a lifestyle.

So here is to no answers, but a willingness… no solutions, but a heart for the problem…

I have been absolutely ruined for the rest of my life… and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Last month my heart had a difficult time fighting to see what God wanted to show me, and what He wanted from me in Africa.

This month I asked God to give me a theme that I could filter each action through.

“Serve Enthusiastically”

Simple words, but also a challenge.

Establish Dominance is partnered with Juna Amagara Ministries Uganda.

They have their hand in a few things, pursuing medical help, giving housing and education to orphans, and teaching vocational skills.

Juna Amagara roughly translated means ”saving lives”… or to save life.

The heart of the ministry is keeping Christ at the center, instilling within students that Jesus is the one who gives life.

I wanted to give you a pictorial look at things here, as we work with the institute.

Last month I was ready to give up. So thank you for those who wouldn’t let me; who encouraged me to keep going- who inspired me to chase after what God had for me in this season. One friend wrote something very simple to me, “I hope you never get tired of waking up in places like that no matter how hard or how annoying.”

This month I want to serve enthusiastically, willing to pour out, trusting that God will fill me just to do it again the next day. It doesn’t happen in my own strength… only His.

At home my sisters and I joke about my life being like the movie 27 Dresses.

It’s true; I have my fair share of bridesmaid dresses sitting in my closet at home. I’ve made my way down a few isles, remembering to walk slowly to Cannon in D,

Being on the World Race is one of the greatest experiences of my life…

and I wouldn’t trade it…

…but there are times when it is difficult; my heart feels a little torn, because of special events and life circumstances that go on at home with the people I love.

Katie and Miguel are two people that have been a part of my life separately… and somehow God brought them together while I’ve been out here on the field.

My prayer for Miguel has been that God would put in his path a woman that loved Jesus wholeheartedly and would support him, speak to the godly man he was, and be willing to challenge him in life.

My prayer for Katie has been that God would give her a man that was following Christ, a man that would love and understand her, that would support her passions and also challenge her, helping her strive for holiness.

God answered my prayers for my friends by bringing them together. 

So… congratulations on your engagement, Katie and Miguel.

I will gladly add to my closet of bridesmaid dresses to walk down an isle in support of a couple that I believe has the capacity to show the world God’s love stronger together than they could apart.

I wish I was around to celebrate, but you both have been huge supporters of this trip that I’m on, and I know that you wouldn’t want me anywhere else but here.

So from halfway around the world, I want you to know you are thought of and loved.

Also… here is a bit of advice from an African secondary school sign…

Well… at least until you’re married anyway… then you can say yes.

Meet the new team…

Establish Dominance

Even though our team only changed by 1 person- the entire dynamic shifts, and the atmosphere gets different…

Thus a new name- attacking change with a fresh vision

Team Establish Dominance is cool for a couple of reasons…

1) I love to use the phrase establish dominance

2) Amy, my teammate, heard a sermon once that talked about how God’s love establishes dominance whenever it enters a room… and we are ambassadors of that love, and that it isn’t our power, but God’s that makes a difference- and He will triumph

With the change, and this new team, has come a second wind for me here in Africa…

Daniel Stinson is COURAGE

Nate Evans is VULNERABILITY

Amy Book is INTENTIONAL

Kristi Kaeli is KNOWLEDGE

Katie Cartwright is LIGHT

Liz Norris is FIRE (and not just because she’s a red head!)

Lindsey Eaton is COMPASSION

… and as for me…. I’m crazy… but my team can attest to that…

Please pray for…

*Wisdom in safety

*Relationships with our contacts, that we would encourage them and pour into them what they need

*We are working mostly with youth this month, pray for God to use us to instill His vision for them into their lives

*Pray for our bonding, openness, and that we would fight to refine one another as a team

7 months…

During Launch back in January, and even during training camp for the World Race, we were told always be ready for change.

“Change is a form of loss, whether good or bad.”

Our team sat down the other night to be informed that a change would be happening…

Carl would be leaving us and joining another team.

I didn’t realize that information would affect me the way it did, but I had an instant sadness.

I’ve spent almost every day with Carl for the past 7 months, and you don’t really grasp, until moments like this, that people have become like family to you.

Carl makes me laugh- with a witty sense of humor, and his use of various accents, I will miss the ways he imitates the various versions of Lindsey’s laugh.

Carl makes me think- It’s amazing to watch Carl read Scripture. The way his mind works, so creative and so questioning, he pulls me into a deeper relationship with God’s Word. No matter what questions he wrestles through though, at the end of the day he simply stands in awe inspired worship of who God is, and invites others to do the same.

Carl has been there to embrace me in a brotherly hug when I’ve broken down crying, and he’s been there to express he was proud during moments of ministry when I stepped out to be used by God.

To Kathy Wilson- you raised one great boy, who has become a godly man, so thank you for sharing your son with us.

Carl is one of the first men in my life whom I’ve been vulnerable with in discussing hurts of the past, and the sins that have brought me to where I am. He listened, and encouraged, and loved me without judgment.

God has used him to redeem the role of men in my life.

So this week we will say goodbye to Carl as far as being apart of our team, and while I feel a little sadness in my own personal loss…

 I am excited to see him as he transitions onto team Powerhouse and enters into a new season of the World Race.

I believe in how great Carl is, and see the value he has in community. I’m excited to share him.

God is also blessing us…

Meet Daniel Stinson

Danny is joining our team this coming week.

I had the honor of working with Danny’s team in Kenya, and after seeing Danny’s heart in action- I’m eager to work and serve alongside of him.

The first thing I noticed when I met Danny was that the world seemed to melt away when he was in the presence of God. He is unafraid to pour his heart out and be vulnerable- encouraging a “no fear of man” mentality in those around him.

He is also a dancin’ fool- a testament to his enjoyment of life and exceptionally fun spirit.

I ask for your prayers as this transition happens- for both Carl and Danny.

I feel so privileged to be learning from men that are chasing after Jesus with their whole lives.

7 months…

…and I am now used to the World Race throwing change my way…

So here is to embracing and engaging, the beginning of a new adventure.

…The men have to hunt and kill a lion before they can get married…

That was the FIRST thing I heard about the Massai people… needless to say I was intrigued.

The Massai are in the midst of losing some of their traditional ways due to government regulation and rule. Obviously with extinction issues, the whole “lion hunting” thing isn’t allowed anymore- and there are other things changing.

Even in the midst of a world that is becoming increasingly westernized, there is something beautiful about a culture that is clinging to its roots.

The village we visited slaughtered a goat for us for lunch- talk about hospitality.

In the small mud hut church with wooden benches…

We sang. We danced. We worshipped. Unifed by the gospel.

I stood in front of the small congregation of villagers and I poured my heart out about the amazing power of the gospel.

As I scanned a people group, the one that I saw being a world of difference from me, the people that were most unlike me- my heart was hit with the incredible truth that the gospel is what united us.

We were so different, but so much the same.

I could not hold back the tears that came in an overwhelming flood of emotion of how big and incredible God’s own love for us was.

Rich or poor… young or old… white or black…

The fact remains that the gospel unites us with the simple message that nothing satisfies our souls except for the redeeming love of Jesus Christ.

I expressed to them that at times my heart wanted to hold back in talking about our “need” in this world because I was afraid people would look at me and want to know what the “white girl from America” knew about “need”, when I have not faced poverty the way they have.

But God’s Word says, “blessed are the poor in spirit…”

It’s not about your status- it’s about seeing the need… that you are poor in spirit. The truth is we all are poor in spirit until we are filled with the Holy Spirit- and understand that our satisfaction comes from a relationship with the Father.

The “Amens” that resonated through the Massai people, echoed the sentiments of my heart…

The more I talk about the gospel, the more amazing I find the whole thing.

(this blog is sparked by a sermon given by my teammate Carl)

“Brothers… what we do in this life, echoes in eternity.”

-Maximus in “Gladiator”

An echo: to repeat… to resonate.

There is a similar stream of thought that pervades most of the people around the world- they do believe that their time on this earth will determine their afterlife.

Words are a very tricky thing, and I have come to find the terms “life” and “afterlife” very interesting.

When sin entered the world, so did death.

Ephesians 2:1 “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins…”

Even in our time on this world, our life is actually dead…

We are all dead men walking.

People operate under the illusion that what they are living in is life, but without being hidden in Christ, they are living in death.

It is Christ’s conquering of death that enables life.

John 1:4 “In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.”

It’s not so much what we do in this life that echoes in eternity… it’s what we choose…

Through God’s grace we can choose life, which brings us life into eternity… but the reality is that people are choosing to remain in death, and that echoes into eternal death…

You either repeat life from this world into the next, or you repeat death.

Colossians 2:12 “…having been buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also raised up with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead.”

For those of us who believe, our eternal life is already active, dying in this world only leads to life.

Our ministry here in Tanzania has largely been door-to-door evangelism. We engage people in conversation, answer questions about Christianity, and share the gospel of Jesus…

I realized that I have been talking with a bunch of dead people… people who think they are living life, but are blind to the truth of their own decaying, rotting souls.

Look into the faces of those who are dead… and pray that the message of hope of life in Christ penetrates their hearts- that the words we have shared with these people-with these families would take root and flourish into life.